


Fragments

by thearchangelofloki



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: 20 Things, Angst, I don't know how this happened?, Lahar POV, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 02:27:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7134860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thearchangelofloki/pseuds/thearchangelofloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>20 Fragments of a life spent together</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragments

1. 

The first time I see you, you are standing in a room with no less than 200 people. There is something about your eyes, and it makes me question why you are there.

I have seen men with a stronger sense of self than you be swept up in these halls, loose themselves to the repetitive nature of the drills, in the responsibility, in their own past.

I pray you do not become one of them. It is, perhaps, the first time I have wished such a thing of a recruit.

 

2. 

I learn your name, you learn mine. You’re one of the best recruits I’ve ever trained and you seem to thrive from the work, yet sometimes I catch you looking down, as if you are lost.

As if you do not belong.

I begin pushing your class harder, pushing you harder, trying to make sure you are the best you could possibly be. You have so much potential here, so much potential for a fantastic life, and I want you to see it.

 

3. 

I watch you graduate, the top of your class. I never expected anything less. This is your stage, and everyone can see that this is where you belong.

Still, I question if this is where you truly want to be.

 

4.

We work together well, you and I. Our minds and magics seemingly blending together to form one efficient being. The first time we work together is perhaps the first time I see you smile, the first time I know you would rather be here than the place that seems to haunt you.

 

5. 

I ask you about the times you seem to be questioning your place here one day. I ask you where it is you feel you should be instead. You tell me that you don’t know, that you don’t remember.

I am determined to find out for you.

 

6. 

You stand frozen when a woman with bright red hair is brought before the council. I watch your face, see the dim recognition on your features. I ask how you now her, you say you don’t know. I wonder, not for the first time, what happened to you to make you like this.

Most of me hopes you one day remember.

A small part of me, the selfish part, hopes you never do, if it means you’ll stay by my side.

 

7. 

You are told to infiltrate Fairy Tail’s S-Class trials, and the name Mest Gryder comes to you so quickly it almost hurts. The name fits you more than I would like. I start to think that maybe Mest is and was the real you, and that Doranbolt is the alias.

For the first time in my life, I pray that I am wrong.

 

8. 

You cry when Tenrou island disappears. It is the first time I have seen you display so much emotion so willingly. I can do nothing but watch you fall apart.

I regret ever letting you go on that mission.

 

9. 

You quit the council and disappear. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t waiting for this to happen. No one seems to know where you are, they say that if you don’t want to be found you won’t be. I do not know what that says about you, about me, about _us_ , that I find you so easily.

I find you crying one night, and I wonder if your pain will ever go away.

 

10. 

You drink so much that I worry. In the weeks you let me find you, I can only hope my bring there will help you get back on the right path again. I fear it isn’t. 

I fear that I’m not enough.

 

11. 

You come back to the council, and I cannot keep the smile from my face. Perhaps it is a character defect, a personal flaw, that having you here and by my side makes me feel as though I am floating.

It is not one I ever plan on ridding myself of.

 

12. 

Fairy Tail appears at the Grand Magic Games, and the child you thought you lead to death shows off her talents, stronger than ever.

Your happiness at seeing her is like a typhoon, and I cannot help but be caught up in your storm.

 

13. 

Fairy Tail wins, and you kiss me. Your lips are chapped and your hand is gripped on my neck to the point of pain, but it is perfect. You pull away from my lips, and I cannot help but smile.

You smile back at me, and for that pure, blissful moment, all is right in the world.

 

14. 

The dragons almost take you away from me. The almost there memory of you dying, of you with bloody wounds and a lifeless gaze haunts me every time I close my eyes. I do not sleep, instead I watch the rise and fall of your chest, reassuring myself that it is real.

When you wake the next morning, I am exhausted, but watching you slowly wake makes it all worth it.

 

15. 

I find out that I was right, all those years ago. Mest is the real you, Doranbolt nothing more than a name you wear like a coat. Whenever I ask you about Mest however, you tell me he was just a cover. I know you are lying, and I want answers, but I do not confront you.

The thought of losing you, even if all you are is a cover, hurts me more than I would like to admit.

 

16. 

I confront your guild master instead. He seems surprised that I haven’t confronted him earlier. He tells me that you don’t remember your time at his guild, that you erased your own memory in a freak accident and the council is simply where you ended up. I do not believe him entirely, but I do not argue, content enough in the knowledge that you will stay.

When I come back to you, you ask where I’ve been, but I cannot bring myself to say the name of your former guild master, lest you remember something.

While you sleep, I apologize. Over and over, until the words blend together and I stop in fear of waking you. I hate keeping things from you. I hate that I’m not strong enough to let you go.

 

17. 

The attacks on the former council members are causing you stress. You pace in our bedroom, turn to me with an expression that speaks of nothing but worry.

You ask me to not let you drink.

I don’t let you have a single drop.

 

18. 

I watch you sleep the next morning, not wanting to wake you. You look peaceful like this, and not for the first time I want to tell you that I love you.

I do not though, my own fear holding me back.

It does not stop me from thinking it until you wake.

 

19. 

Tartaros is here. Tartaros is here and there is nothing I can do. There is no time, no time for anything beyond desperate panicked attempts to protect the council. You are on the other side of the hall, further away from this demon.

I hope it is enough to save you from the destruction.

 

20. 

I hope you do not blame yourself, even though deep down, I know you will. I hope that it is enough that you live.

That one of us at least, will have the chance to move on.

For the first time I find myself hoping, even as the pain of the explosion rips through my body and the fire seems to fill my lungs, that you remember Mest.

You need a family now, and Fairy Tail is all I can offer you.


End file.
